Jokes. Have you got a good joke to tell?

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Laughter is good for the soul, maybe these jokes can make you laugh.

This is the Lens where you get the chance to add links to your joke lens or offsite links. Please remember this is not for adult jokes, there will be another lens for the adult stuff. Just laugh once a day, it makes the world a better place for everybody.

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Most jokes are international, here is where most visitors come from 

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Many thanks to the people that sent me these one liners. 

  • The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
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  • The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
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  • The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
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  • Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are " XL."
    ................................
  • Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "THEIRS"


Topical joke, at least you can smile 

On the shores of the Black Sea . It is raining, and the little town looks totally deserted. It is tough times, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives
on credit. Suddenly, a rich tourist comes into town.

He enters the only hotel, lays a 100 Dollar note on the reception counter, and goes to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to select one.

The hotel proprietor takes the 100 Dollar note and runs to pay his debt to the butcher.

The Butcher takes the 100 Dollar note, and runs to pay his debt to the pig breeder.

The pig breeder takes the 100 Dollar note, and runs to pay his debt to the supplier of his animal feed and fuel.

The supplier of the animal feed and fuel, takes the 100 Dollar note and runs to pay his debt to the town's prostitute, that in these hard times, gave her "services" on credit.

The prostitute runs to the hotel, and pays off her debt with the 100 Dollar note to the hotel proprietor, to pay for the rooms that she rented when she brought her clients there.

The hotel proprietor then lays the 100 Dollar note back on the counter so that the rich tourist will not suspect anything.

At that moment, the rich tourist comes down after inspecting the rooms, and takes his 100 Dollar note, saying that he did not like any of the rooms, and leaves town.

No one earned anything. However, the whole town is now without debt, and looks to the future with a lot of optimism..

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how the United States Government is doing business today.

You can modify this joke to suit. 

Send me a joke if you would like it included in this Lens

Golfing accident

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.

The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize. "Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me," she told him.

"Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes," the man replied.

He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands together at his groin. At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help.

She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside. She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, "How does that feel?"

He replied, "It feels great, but I still think my thumb's broken."

I have to thank Ed for sending these jokes 

  • The irony of life is that, by the time
    You're old enough to know your way
    Around, you're not going anywhere.

    .....................
  • The quote of the month is by Jay Leno:

    "With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding,
    severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another,
    and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, "Are we sure this
    is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"
    ...................
  • A three-year-old boy was examining his testicles
    while taking a bath.
    "Mom" he asked, "are these my brains?"
    "Not yet," she replied.
    ...................

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Need some jokes?, here is a book selection 

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1,000 Knock Knock Jokes for Kids by Michael Kilgarriff

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Extremities, Dirt & Various Repressed Emotions

Extremities, Dirt & Various Repressed Emotions

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Wikipedia's definition of the word "Joke" 

A joke is a short story or ironic depiction of a situation communicated with the intent of being humorous. These jokes will normally have a punchline that will end the sentence to make it humorous. A joke can also be a single phrase or statement that employs sarcasm. The word joke can also be used as a slang term for a person or thing which is not taken seriously by others in general. A practical joke or prank differs from a spoken one in that the major component of the humour is physical rather than verbal (for example placing salt in the sugar bowl).

Jokes are typically for the entertainment of friends and onlookers. The desired response is generally laughter; when this does not happen the joke is said to have "fallen flat".

These links are no joke 

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Worth you visiting 

If you read this far, you deserve a good laugh to finish off with. 

  • Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf.
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  • You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
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  • So you reached the end of my Lens, I hope you enjoyed your visit and will either post a message, or and this is better, add to the joke list at the top.

    May your God go with you.
    .........................
  • If you have never made a Lens, help is here at creating lenses.

    My main website which has information about Munich and Climate Change can be accessed from Perob.

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